


Rules and Regs

by sans_souci2



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:49:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sans_souci2/pseuds/sans_souci2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve acts all kinds of strange when he's told he has to have a physical.</p><p> Fast forward-he winds up in the hospital. Good thing Danny is there for him!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so lyndalanz very tactfully reminded me of what a few very wonderful fans of ouchie!Steve had already commented- I kinda left this fic hanging. 
> 
> New Year's Resolution-tie up loose ends! 
> 
> Here's the fic so far- tied up loose end is on the way :D

  
“Lt. Commander McGarrett, may I come in?”  
  
One glance at the woman in the doorway and Steve’s tempted to say no, he’s really too busy to see anyone right now. With his feet up on the desk and the sports section in his hand, it’s going to be a pretty hard sell. Toss in the fact that the woman's wearing a white lab coat with an official looking ID badge hanging from the chest pocket and there's not much he can say except what he does.  
  
“How can I help you?”  
  
The woman is across the room and in front of his desk in two strides. She sticks her hand out so forcefully it's more like a karate chop than a handshake. “I’m Eleanor Hughes, Employee Health.”  
  
 _Hughes?  
  
Employee Health. _  
  
Then he sees the MD after her name. “That’s right, I came to your office to drop off my medical forms- you did get them didn’t you?”  
  
“I did, thank you. I believe my assistant asked you to make an appointment for your pre-employment physical- you said you would get back to her?”  
  
The way her eyes narrow makes the hair on the back of his neck stand at attention.  
  
“But we haven’t heard from you yet?” Her eyebrows practically meet, she’s frowning so hard.  
  
 _Christ._ It's time for some McGarrett charm.“I'm sorry. I didn’t make the appointment because I had my annual physical with the Navy less than four months ago. I meant to drop off a copy of it- I can get one to you first thing, tomorrow.”

“I’m afraid that won’t do.”  
  
Damn if she doesn't look like she really enjoyed saying that. “I’m sorry?”  
  
"New employees of the state have to pass a physical and drug screen conducted by the state Health Department. I’m sure you understand.”  
  
“Not really. No I don’t. Trust me, anything you want tested was tested and I passed with flying colors.”  
  
“I’m sure you did Lt. Commander and I apologize for having to put you through another exam but it really is necessary.”  
  
“Come on! That’s absolutely ridicu-”  
  
Her hand shoots up in another quasi karate move, “Save your protests, Lt. Commander- as a military man I’m sure you appreciate the importance of rules and regulations. The good news is I can fit you in tomorrow morning at nine o’clock.”  
  
“Thank you but the fact is," his face is warm; his palms are sweaty; thankfully his brain still works, “I have a very important meeting in the morning-there’s no way I can see you at nine.”  
  
 _It scares him sometimes the way stuff like that flies out of his mouth._  
  
“Lt. Commander, let me be clear. You are not to conduct any Five-0 business until you are cleared by my department. That meeting will just have to be rescheduled.”  
  
“Okay,” he says taking out his cell phone. _D_ _amn it, she’s asking for it._ “Let me just make a phone call.”  
  
“Please, be my guest.”  
  
“Governor, sorry to bother you but I wonder if you might help clear up a little misunderstanding-“  
  
“The answer is no, Steve.”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Hughes called me fifteen minutes ago. I checked with HR-she’s right. You have to have that physical.”  
  
“Governor- I just had a physical-“  
  
“I’m sure you did Steve, and, I’m sure the Navy checked you out from head to toe, but the fact is, Dr. Hughes has to do the same thing all over again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of a staff meeting that I really need to get back to.”  
  
“But, Governor-”  
  
“Steve, this conversation is over.”  
  
_______________________________~_________________________________  
  
  
“So did Broomhilda lose her broom or what?” Danny asks as he walks into Steve's office the second Hughes leaves.  
  
“Very funny.”  
  
“Who was that woman, anyway? She reminds me of a very scary Lieutenant I had in Newark.”  
  
“That _woman_ was a doctor with Employee Health who insists I have a physical tomorrow.”  
  
“And that’s what has you looking so pissed off?”  
  
“No, that’s what _has_ me so pissed off. It’s a waste of time and money. I just had a physical four months ago. Trust me, if Uncle Sam says I’m fine, which he did, I’m fine!”  
  
“Whoa! Jump back jack. I’m on your side. So just call the Gov and sic her on the battle-axe.”  
  
“I did.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“No luck.”  
  
It suddenly dawns on Danny- Steve is really pissed off. The guy’s neck is flushed; his pupils are pinpoints.  
  
 _Why?_  
  
“Hey babe, I’m not really getting this. I mean I know a date with Employee Health is a total waste of time but is it really worth getting so worked up about?”  
  
“I just don’t like doctors Danny, ok?”  
  
“Hey, me either.”  
  
“And I shouldn’t have to do this.”  
  
“I totally agree.” Danny sidles up behind Steve and leans down to plant a quick kiss on the side of his neck, “But since it looks like you have to, how about you just roll with it and don’t let it bother you.”  
  
That pained sigh of Steve's makes Danny dig deeper. “Just what are you worried about, anyway?”  
  
“I’m not worried about anything!”  
  
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Hey, come on, lets go grab some lunch- my treat.”  
  
“No. I’ve got way too much too do.”  
  
The newspapers on Steve’s desk say otherwise, but Danny plays along, “Ok, how about I go get a couple sandwiches from Louie’s and we eat here?”  
  
“I’m just not hungry, okay?”  
  
“Sure babe,” Danny checks his watch. It’s been over four hours since McaGarrett’s last feed.  
  
 _Okay, now he’s officially worried._  
__________~___________  
  
  
All night he has to bite his tongue not to ask Steve what the hell is wrong. When he wakes up at three am and pats a cool, empty sheet next to him, he stumbles off to find out why.  
  
“So, you doing a little star gazing tonight?” he asks Steve when he finds him on the lanai.  
  
“I couldn’t sleep.”  
  
“And does that have anything to do with tomorrow?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Yeah I’m sure. Trust me, Danny. I have plenty of things a hell of a lot scarier than a physical to keep me awake at night.”  
  
 _Damn.  
  
That one makes him feel like a real schmuck._  
  
McGarrett's been through horrors that he can't even imagine. Maybe one of them really is behind tonight's soiree with the stars. There’s not much room but he sits down next to him and gives his leg a little squeeze, “Anything you want to talk about?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Really, Danny. Nothing in particular woke me up this time, I’m good.”  
  
 _You can say that again.  
  
The part about being good. _  
  
Even though it’s dark, sitting this close to _this_ man when he’s wearing nothing but a pair of light blue boxer briefs is already wrecking havoc in Danny’s own shorts. Any other time, even if it was the middle of the night, he’d get busy causing the same kind of trouble in those baby blue boxers.  
  
But, not tonight.  
  
The moon might be the only source of light but it’s a full moon and it’s enough to illuminate every single worry line etched across Steve’s forehead and around his eyes. Danny can even feel the tension in him he’s wound so tight.  
  
 _Time for some comic relief?_  
  
“Well, I just hope it wasn’t me farting my ass off that woke you up. I mean I can barely stand myself, tonight. You got to promise to never let me eat anything with those fermented beans in it again-ever!”  
  
Okay, that earns him a weak little smile. _Thank you, God and Allah, and Buddha,too."_  
  
“It wasn’t you, Danny. I just couldn’t sleep. Now go back to bed.”  
  
“Yeah sure, but how about you come with me?”  
  
“Not just yet. But, I’ll be there soon, okay?”  
  
It’s not like he has a choice.  
  
  
____________~~~~_____________  
  
Mornings driving in aren’t typically chatty times for either of them but this morning it’s like the guy next to him has put up a damn steel barrier. Much as he’s dying to try and shimmy over it, Danny bites his tongue and stays quiet. When they get to Five-0, it about kills him, but they each head into their own offices without a word.  
  
At 8:58 Steve steps out into the bullpen where Danny just happens to be messing with the control board. He looks up like he’s surprised, “So you heading over there, now?” .  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
 _Men headed for the gallows have sounded better._  
  
“Well say hi to Broomhilda for me.” His wide grin is more hopeful than genuine. The grim look Steve flashes back as he slips out into the hallway erases it in about a nanosecond  
  
 _Shit on a stick._  
  
“So where’s our boss man going looking so mad?”  
  
“Our boss man is going to Employee Health.”  
  
“He sick?”  
  
“No, he is not sick. _He_ is going for a physical-something that most of us don't enjoy but he, for some reason is practically apoplectic about.”  
  
Kono gives him one of those spineless, all-knowing shrugs of hers, “Well who could blame him? That doctor lady up there takes her job way too seriously.”  
  
“What, you’ve had the pleasure?”  
  
“No way. My police academy physical earned me a pass, just like your HPD one did.” She looks across the room, “Cuz wasn’t’ so lucky.”  
  
Chin’s hearing being right up there with sonar in its ability to pick up the slightest blip means he instantly comes out of his office, “What’s that you say about me?”  
  
“Just that you’ve been there and done that,” Kono nods toward the door, “Boss just left for a physical with Hughes.”  
  
Chin shudders, “Please, don’t remind me.”  
  
“What the hell goes on up there?”  
  
“What doesn’t?” Chin shudders again, “That woman checked out parts of my body not even my mother, has seen.”  
  
“So, I’m guessing you told Steve about it?”  
  
“Are you kidding-it’s not an experience I care to share, brah.”  
  
“Okay then I still don’t’ get it. Why is Steve so dead set against this freaking physical? The doofus couldn’t even sleep last night.”  
  
Chin shrugs, “I have no idea; maybe he heard about Hughes through the grapevine?”  
  
“He’s not that well connected to anyone else around here. Personally, I think there's something he doesn’t want her to find.”  
  
“Like what? In case you haven’t noticed, our boss is one healthy dude.”  
  
“I have noticed that, Kono, thank you very much. And so, yes, it doesn’t make a lot of sense that Steve’s acting as squirrelly as he is.”  
  
“Relax brah," Chin grins, "the guy probably just hates being bossed around with no clothes on-I’m sure our man is all good.”  
  
“I sure hope you’re right.”  
______________~_______________  
  
Chin’s right.  
  
Danny is too.  
  
But first, Chin.  
  
Steve hates every single thing about his command appearance on the ninth floor. It’s like he’s suddenly demoted to a Naval Academy Plebe the minute he checks in with the receptionist.  
  
And, it only gets worse.  
  
The first insult is he’s told to pee in a cup while a tech stands on the other side of the stall door. Of course his bladder plays shy and it takes five minutes to produce about five drops. As soon as he clears that hurdle, he’s led into an icy cold exam room and told to take everything off including his underwear.  
  
He seriously wants to bolt.  
  
By the time he’s sitting on a thin sheet of crinkly white paper in nothing but a skimpy exam gown he’s got a case of nerves like he never gets on even the riskiest missions. His palms are sweaty; his stomach is in knots. The deep breathing he tries to do, flat out fails him.  
  
Finally, fifteen minutes after the nurse told him to get undressed and put on the gown there’s a knock on the door. Before he can answer, it opens.  
  
“It’s nice to see you again Lt. Commander.” Hughes crosses the room smiling like they’re long lost friends, “I hope you were able to reschedule your morning meeting?”  
  
“My meeting?” Then he remembers, “Oh yeah, I was.”  
  
“Good. I’ll try to get you out of here as soon as possible- I know you’re a very busy man.”  
  
“Thank you.” He looks down at his bare legs and crosses them as if it might help him feel just a little less self-conscious.  
  
“So let’s get started, shall we.”  
  
 _Is no thank you an option?_  
  
She scans the clipboard in her hands, “Let's see, any chronic illnesses or medical conditions?”  
  
“No, none. “  
  
“Good. And how about any injuries, broken bones, or, surgeries?”  
  
“A few.”  
  
“Of what?”  
  
“Of what you just said.”  
  
Her eyebrows shoot up, “Let’s start with surgeries.”  
  
“Tonsillectomy when I was five; appendectomy when I was twelve; surgery to remove shrapnel from my right leg in 2000; surgery to repair a knife wound to my abdomen in 2001; surgery to remove a bullet from by chest in 2005; surgery to place a plate and screws in my elbow in 2007; surgery a year ago to remove a bullet from my left arm and surgery to repair a fracture to the same arm this past April.”  
  
It takes a minute and more than one request for him to repeat an item before Hughes gets it all down. When she looks up, she’s frowning, “You seem to be in a dangerous line of work, Lt. Commander?”  
  
“I guess you could say that.”  
  
“Any other injuries?”  
  
“Just a few other broken bones.”  
  
“Any remaining deficits from any those fractures or did they heal completely?”  
  
“They’re fine.”  
  
“Good. And are you on any medications?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Excellent.” She puts her pen down and goes over to the sink. As she’s washing her hands, “I’ll just take a quick look at you and make sure everything’s in working order, then you’ll be good to go.”  
  
The deep breath he takes as he stares at his bare feet doesn’t do a thing to settle the thrum in his stomach.  
  
“Let’s start with your eyes.” She’s parked herself in front of him and is reaching for an instrument on the wall behind him. “Look straight ahead for me-”  
  
 _Okay fine. He knows this drill._  
  
The next few minutes are spent having his eyes and nose and mouth and ears thoroughly inspected. Everything’s fine until she hits his left ear. No surprise there. Her eyebrows dart up, “Hmmm, it looks like you damaged this eardrum at some point in the past,  
  
“I did.”  
  
“When was that?”  
  
“About three years ago.”  
  
“And, how did it happen?”  
  
“I was being interrogated by hostile forces in Afghanistan. They used a syringe in an … unconventional way.”  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you suffer from any hearing loss as a result?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“You’re very lucky.”  
  
He doesn’t feel very lucky, not right now at least.  
  
She comes back after she’s jotted down more notes and nods at his gown, “Go ahead and slip that off so I can listen to your heart and lungs.”  
  
He braces for the inevitable.  
  
"My my look at all your tattoos."  
  
 _How about you just listen to my damn lungs._  
  
At least she doesn't belabor the tattoo thing. What she does do is practically make him lightheaded by insisting on so many deep breaths. When she finally loops the stethoscope back around her neck, she has a quizzical look on her face, “Your heart rate is 98; is that high for you Commander?”  
  
“Yeah….I guess.” He lives at around sixty-five and he knows it.  
  
“You’re not anxious, are you?”  
  
“A little… maybe.”  
  
“After the kind of things you’ve been through, I would think a simple physical would be a piece of cake. Relax, I can assure you there’s nothing to be worried about.”  
  
 _Not yet ._  
  
Red-faced replaces light-headed when she moves on to her next task, "Go ahead and raise your arms and place your hands behind your head."  
  
 _What the heck? Isn't that one of his lines?_  
  
When she starts poking around in his armpits he flinches.  
  
"Tender?"  
  
"No."  
  
"How about here?"  
  
 _What the hell is she looking for?_  
  
Apparently she doesn't find it because she moves on. "Do you examine your chest for lumps on a regular basis?"

"Huh?"  
  
"Regular self-examination is very important; breast cancer is not just a woman's disease."  
  
She's rolling his nipple and then tugging at it like he wants only one person in his life to do. He hates this so much but apparently his nether region doesn't because the gown draped across his lap starts taking on a tent-like shape.  
  
 _And she's still got the other side to do._ He wants to die.  
  
An eternity and at least ten shades of red later she finally tells him he can lower his arms. There's even an added bonus but it comes at a price, “All right, you can put your gown back on, then lay down for me, please.”  
  
As he’s getting the gown on and reaching around for the ties, she's pulling an extension out from the foot of the table. Then she pats it and smiles at him. No way she misses the little pup tent. In fact her eyes linger on it; he swears it does.  
  
 _God he hates this._  
  
“Comfortable? “ she asks as he lays there shifting his legs trying to make certain things less obvious and only managing to bunch up the stupid paper he's laying on.  
  
 _Are you kidding?_  
  
_________~__________  
  
  
“A hernia?”  
  
“You heard me.” The grim look on Steve's face as he sits down is partially due to what he's saying and partially due to the fact his balls are sore from the relentless poking and prodding they'd just been put through. His ass is no where near comfortable either; no Navy doc ever did the kind of things to him that he just endured.  
  
“I’m guessing you knew you had it?”  
  
It only surprises him a little that Danny has him figured out. He's still too shell shocked to be anything but honest,“The doc at my last physical said I did, but I didn’t believe him.”  
  
“And why is that?”  
  
“Because it didn’t hurt.”  
  
“So you didn’t do anything about it?”  
  
“Why should I?”  
  
“I don't know. Why did Broomhilda insist you see a surgeon this afternoon?”  
  
“Because she’s an alarmist.”  
  
“Any other reason?”  
  
“Apparently there’s a miniscule chance that intestine can get trapped in these things, but, trust me, it's not going to happen.”  
  
“Wow, that’s very cool. So you know what your intestines will and won’t do?”  
  
“Give me a break, Danny.”  
  
“Look I’m sorry, babe. I know, or at least, I think I know how much you hate this; I’m just worried you won't take care of it and something nasty will happen.”  
  
“Well you can stop worrying- Hughes put in a call to the Governor telling her I was on indefinite medical leave until I have the surgery.”  
  
“Man, she really knows how to get her way,” Danny rubs Steve’s back as he says it, “reminds me of someone else I know.”  
  
“When I call the governor it's about something important.  
  
“Oh I’m sorry, I mistakenly thought your health was important.”  
  
“Can we just stop talking about this?”  
  
“Sure, after I ask one last question.”  
  
“Which is?”  
  
“When’s your appointment this afternoon?”  
  
“Four-thirty.”  
  
"And where is it?"  
  
"Somewhere on Punahou, past the mall."  
  
“Okay. We’ll leave here at four just in case we hit traffic.”  
  
“I can drive myself, Danny.”  
  
“I know you can but since we drove in together it only makes sense for us to both go-then you don’t have to double back to pick me up.”  
  
“Fine, I don’t feel like arguing.”  
  
“Good. Now do you want me to go get us some lunch or do you want to come with and we’ll eat out?”  
  
“I’m not hungry.”  
  
“That my friend will not be a permanent condition, trust me.”  
  
“Fine. Pick something up; I don’t care. I’m going to go try get some work done despite a certain doctor’s best efforts.”  
  
Danny gives his back one last rub then starts for the door, “She’s just doing her job, Steve.“  
  
“Just go, Danny.”  
  
________~_________  
  
Steve refuses to let Danny come with him when he’s taken back to see the surgeon. About forty-five minutes later a nurse comes into the waiting room and tells him that the Lt. Commander is asking for him-would he please follow her.  
  
Like he would say no.  
  
He’s been pretty nervous ever since they took Steve back and now his stomach lurches into full fledged, knotted-tighter-than-a-rope mode. He tries hard not to show it when the nurse leads him into the office where Steve is sitting in front of a huge desk looking pale and even more miserable than ever.  
  
“Hey babe, you okay?”  
  
He doesn’t care that the nurse is standing right there; he has to give Steve a little back rub as he sits down next to him. He also has to scoot his chair closer-the poor guy looks like hell. He hates asking it but he has to, “So what did he say?”  
  
“He says he wants to admit me to the hospital.”  
  
“Admit you? Now?” _Talk about instant chest pain._  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Why, what’s wrong?” He feels so damn light headed he has to grab his chair.  
  
“Nothing, it's stupid. Let this guy explain when he gets here,okay?“  
  
Danny barely manages to hide how freaked out he is, “Okay, fine. Everything’s okay though, right?”  
  
“Everything’s fine, this doctor is just overreacting.”  
  
"Well no matter what, I'm here for you, Steve. I mean it."  
  
"Relax Danny, I'm fine."  
  
"Good. I'm glad," he takes a shaky breath, "because if you're not , I'm gonna kill you."  
  
That seems to touch Steve.  
  
He flashes a weak smile at Danny just as the door opens. The man who comes in is handsome enough to play a doctor on TV, which makes Danny instantly suspicious. He’s does have a decent handshake when he introduces himself as Dennis Rawlings and it’s not long before Danny’s opinion improves significantly. Danny likes that he speaks English and not Med-speak and that he doesn’t talk down to either of them. After a concise explanation, including a few sketches, of why Steve needs surgery and how it will be done, Danny’s basically all kinds of relieved. _It's just a hernia._ Steve, on the other hand is shaking his head and looking grim, “What I’d like to know is why I have to do this right away if it’s not bothering me?” He looks at Rawlings like the guy is proposing to slice off his favorite body part.  
  
“Well the size of the weakening in your abdominal wall is significant. When I examined you, I was able to palpate bowel through it. There’s a chance that with exertion, that bowel might become trapped or ‘incarcerated’ to borrow a term from your line of work. If that were to happen you’d have a real emergency on your hands.”  
  
“And why is that?” It's not like Danny isn't already more than convinced that this thing needs to be fixed pronto, he just knows how much it takes to convince his partner of even the most obvious truths once he’s dug his heels in.  
  
“Basically blood flow to the trapped segment would be compromised causing it to become necrotic and die, which would then set off a potentially life threatening infection.”  
  
Steve’s up until now rigid shoulders droop. He even sighs. _Ok, looks like that worked._ “Just how long would I have to be in the hospital?”  
  
“If everything goes well, only a few days.”  
  
“Which leads me to ask,” Danny glances apologetically at Steve, “Don’t shoot me," then turns to Rawlings, "you said “If everything goes well," just what are the possible complications?”  
  
Steve sighs and sinks lower in his chair.  
  
“Well the complications of any surgery are blood loss, infection, and accidental damage to surrounding structures. As far as this particular surgery there’s a very small chance of nicking the bowel or, of impinging a nerve. I’m not planning on either one though, trust me.”  
  
“Steve says you want to admit him right now?”  
  
“I do. I want him on strict bed rest until I can get him to the OR, as I said, the defect is quite large-I’d feel a lot better minimizing his activity.”  
  
“And when would the surgery be?”  
  
“Well I called the scheduling desk and tomorrow is booked solid so I posted him as an add on, which means we’ll probably get to the OR late in the day around five. I’ve already called admissions and they’re expecting him. You know how to get to Queens Medical Center, don’t you?”  
  
“Oh yeah, we’ve both spent a little time in the ER there.”  
  
Steve stands up, signaling he’s had enough. Danny follows his lead. Rawlings walks them both to the door, giving Steve's shoulder a squeeze when they get there, “I know you weren’t expecting this, but, trust me, it really won’t be that bad.”  
  
For different but equally strong reasons, both Danny and Steve are pretty damn sure he’s wrong.  
  
______________~________________  
  
That thing Danny said about being willing to trade places with Steve? Well if it was really possible, yeah, he’d stick to the offer. But, since it’s not, and he admits this only to himself, he’s damn glad not to be in his partner’s shoes.  
  
Make that his slipper socks.  
  
As in baby blue fluffy ones with no-skid strips on the bottom. The things look flat out comical on the end of his muscular, tanned legs.  
  
They just do.  
  
Throw in the classic hospital gown dotted with darker blue tiny geometric shapes that look a lot like flowers and if Danny didn’t feel so sorry for Steve, he'd be laughing. But he does feel sorry for him and he's not laughing at all. What he's doing is wishing they'd been luckier in the nurse lottery-they one they definitely lost.  
  
 _An hour ago…._  
  
“Okay, Mr. McGarrett. I’ve got all the information I need. I’ll just go get some supplies and leave you alone so you can get changed.” The nurse who’s grilled Steve for the last thirty minutes about every little niggling detail of his health finally steps out from behind the lap top she’s been tapping his answers into. Giving them both a big smile, she nods at the gown and blue slipper socks on the bed. “Everything comes off, gown ties in the back and slippers are a must whenever you’re out of bed.” She eyes Steve menacingly, “We don’t want anyone slipping and falling, now do we?”  
  
He doesn’t answer.  
  
He just looks like wants to throw up or die-probably both.  
  
Miss Perky is undeterred, “Any questions before I go?”  
  
“Uh no. We’re just fine, thank you very much.” Danny moves toward her, putting himself between the two of them and politely herding her out of the room. As soon as he closes the door he turns to Steve, “Let me guess, you’d pretty much like to strangle her?”  
  
Steve's just standing there staring at the bed. After awhile, he looks up and checks out the rest of the room. It's not his usual thorough kind of a scan, though. It's more of a deer in the headlights, what the hell am I doing here set of glances.  
  
“Hey, it’s a nice room.” Danny offers, “Private no less. You lucked out. When Rachel had Gracie she had the roommate from hell.”  
  
“I can’t believe this is happening.”  
  
“What? Come on. You’re just going to have a little operation, laze around a bit and then get back to work. No big deal.”  
  
“It doesn’t even bother me.”  
  
Just for the record, he’ll say that four more times before his surgery.  
  
“I know, I know but you heard Rawlings, so come on lets get you changed before Betty Boop comes in and catches you in your birthday suit.”  
  
That last line seems to light a fire under Steve. He shrugs off his shirt, drops it on the bed and peels off his t-shirt in about two seconds. His belt and zipper get handled almost as fast but something about taking off his pants slows him down.  
  
“Uh, last time I tried it, Steve, getting my pants off over my shoes was pretty damn hard.”  
  
It’s really like he hadn’t thought of that the way he looks down at his feet then numbly sits on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. While he’s unlacing them, Danny grabs the gown and unfolds it for him. Of course, there’s no way he can keep from stealing a peek as Steve slithers out of his cargos. Oh my God. That body-especially the parts that just got uncovered, is still right up there with the top five in the universe. Maybe top two.  
  
“Okay, here you go, slide your arms in this thing and I’ll tie it for you.”  
  
Their eyes meet. For a second Danny is honestly tempted to just whisk him out of the place-he looks that miserable. Instead he slips into babble mode, “There you go. Now that’s not so bad. Okay, now turn around. At least you got two ties back here and viola-when I tie them, everything is covered. And that’s a good thing. I once had one of these things on and swear to God my entire ass was hanging out ; I must have mooned at least a dozen people-“  
  
“Be quiet, Danny. Please.”  
  
“Okay. Just trying to take your mind off things. Here gimme your stuff, I’ll put it away. Oh and you better gimme your underwear too-Nurse Perky looks like she meant it when she said everything.”  
  
“My underwear? Why?”  
  
“Hey, don’t take my head off. She’s the one who said it. I’m just trying to save you some grief.”  
  
“I can’t believe this,” he mutters as he pulls his underwear down and hands it to Danny.  
  
“Uh… I think the socks gotta go too.”  
  
“I’m not taking off my damn socks!”  
  
“Okay, okay.”  
  
They were the little white low risers and Danny really doesn’t have the heart to insist so he lets it go and stashes Steve’s things in a plastic bag aptly titled PATIENT’S BELONGINGS. When he turns back Steve’s sitting down on the vinyl-upholstered recliner next to the bed. As soon as his bottom hits the vinyl he hisses “Shit” and shifts to try and get his gown between his backside and the cool surface. Okay this is finally something Danny can help with. “Hold on babe, I got a solution for you.” He grabs a towel from the stack on the windowsill, motions for Steve to stand up and then slides the towel under him. “There you go.”  
  
After lowering himself gingerly, Steve mumbles thank you.  
  
“No problem, but, you know the nurse said you could get in bed after you got changed?”  
  
“I’m not getting in the bed, Danny.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because I’m not sick.”  
  
“Fine. Have it your way. Sitting’s a good call- in fact, I’ll join you.” As soon as he plops down on an uncomfortable plastic chair there’s a knock on the door ,“Knock, knock. Are you decent, Mr. McGarrett?”  
  
“He’s good.” Danny answers.  
  
It’s Steve’s nurse and she has her arms full of all kinds of disturbing looking things. Both of them can’t help taking inventory as she crosses the room. There’s a large plastic basin tucked under one arm that contains a urinal and some kind of measuring cup and a bag of IV fluid but neither of them are completely sure that’s what it is because of its thick opaque wrapping. In her other hand she’s got an IV-start set with what looks like a mother of a huge needle in it along with lots of other things including coiled clear tubing. For different reasons, they both feel a little sick.  
  
“Well don’t you look comfy,” she says to Steve as she lays everything on the bed.  
  
The polar opposite is, of course, true.  
  
“But let’s get those socks off and these on, remember what I said about falling.”  
  
“Why can’t I just keep these on?”  
  
“Because you might slip-here take these, everyone says they're really comfy.”  
  
If she says that word again, Danny's honestly going to be worried for her safety.  
  
Steve takes the slipper socks from her, yanks off his own, and tugs on the idiotic looking blue things. As much as Danny wants to, he can’t think of one cleaver thing to say to erase to grim look on his face.  
  
“Now let’s get you in the bed so I can start your IV.”  
  
 _She made him put on those clown socks just to walk over to the bed?_ Danny wants to throttle the woman.  
  
“An IV? Why do I need that?”  
  
“Well you’re NPO and we don’t want you to get dehydrated.”  
  
“NPO?”  
  
“That’s right, nothing to eat or drink until after your surgery.”  
  
“Why? That’s not until late tomorrow.” Danny knows exactly how much food it takes to keep his man from becoming very grumpy and right now they’re way behind-as in they're in the danger zone.  
  
“Actually, since he’s an add-on he doesn’t have a scheduled time. You never know when add on cases might go so we have to have him ready just in case it’s first thing in the morning.”  
  
“Well can he at least eat something now and then nothing after that?”  
  
“I’m sorry. Doctor’s orders.”  
  
“Well can you call the doctor? I’m sure he’d revise the orders.”  
  
Okay now Nurse Perky looks like she’s feeling a little irritated. Apparently her union doesn’t allow irritated on the job, though, so she masks it with a super saccharine smile, “I’d be happy to as soon as I get this IV started and get your friend’s vital signs but until the doctor tells us otherwise, it’s nothing by mouth, okay, Mr. McGarrett?”  
  
“It’s Steve.” He says grimly.  
  
“Steve?” Is that what you’d like me to call you?”  
  
 _No moron, that’s what he says right before he strangles someone with his bare hands._  
  
“Yes. Please.”  
  
 _Please?_ Bless his heart-the guy has good manners even now.  
  
“Okay Steve go ahead and get in bed for me.”  
  
It’s a beaten man who climbs wearily between the crisp white sheets she holds up for him. He doesn’t even ask about taking off the slipper socks even though Danny’s pretty sure her asinine rule was they were only mandatory if he was out of bed. It doesn’t really matter. Losing the damn things wouldn’t be near enough of a victory to offset the shit show that’s about to unfold.  
  
_________________~________________  
  
Danny has to hand it to Steve.  
  
All that special training of his really does make a difference.  
  
There’s no way in hell he could have sat through the three attempts it took get his IV started without a word. Not one. Not even a grunt when Nurse Perky had the needle embedded in the back of his hand and started fishing around for the vein that she never did find.  
  
Every time she said, 'Opps, now where did that little rascal go?' Danny wanted to scream for her to go get someone who knew what they were doing. Steve’s silence kept him quiet, though. And that silence wasn’t because it didn’t hurt either-the sweat on his partner’s upper lip and forehead and the tremor that ran down his jaw guaranteed that it did. Steve had just just slipped into that go-ahead-and-do-whatever-you-want –to mode of his, the same one he probably slipped into during all the interrogations he’d survived.  
  
When the nurse finally gets the thing in, bandages her bungled attempts and takes his vital signs she wraps up the festivities by setting the urinal on the bedside table and admonishing him to use it and not the bathroom if he only needs to urinate. Given the sing-song voice she was using, Danny is surprised she doesn’t say make number one instead of urinate. Receiving instructions on that particular subject makes Steve look he wants to absolutely die; being told not to empty the thing out when he does use it really ices the cake. “Just press this call button, she tells him, holding up a mulit-purpose gizmo that works the TV too, “and tell them you need a tech to come collect a urine specimen and record your output.”  
  
“Okay dokey, will do.” Danny stands up and starts doing his herding thing again-he’s got to get her out of the room, “Listen, do you think you can call Steve’s doctor now about eating something?  
  
“As soon as I can I will.”  
  
It’s not a resounding win but thank all the gods in heaven, at least she collects up the packaging and bloody gauze littering Steve’s tray table and starts for the door. After she drops what she’s holding in the waste-basket , she stops and cocks her head at Steve. No lie, the poor guy takes a deep breath and holds it, clearly bracing himself for the next onslaught. “Now you remember what I said and don’t get out bed unless you have to make number two, ok?”  
  
It's time for immediate intervention.  
  
“I’ll be sure that he doesn’t. And you let us know what Dr. Rawlings says about eating, as soon as you know, if you would, please.” Danny actually holds the door open and nods toward the hallway; he’s that desperate to get her out of the room .  
  
“I hate this so much.”  
  
“I know you do. I don’t blame you. The good news is I think the worst is over. They’re pretty much going to leave you alone now.”  
  
“I sure as hell hope so.”  
  
“What I hope is that Rawlings says okay and lets you eat something.”  
  
“What is it with you and eating, Danny? I don’t want anything; I don’t even think I could eat right now.”  
  
“Are you kidding me? You haven’t had anything since that disgusting shake thing this morning.”  
  
“That’s because I didn’t want anything.” Steve closes his eyes to signal the end of the discussion.  
  
“But we’re talking about nothing to eat until after the surgery which probably means not until the day after tomorrow?”  
  
“Danny. Stop. Please.”  
  
“Okay, fine. I’m just trying to look out for-”  
  
“Stop!”  
  
“Sorry babe.” Feeling all kinds of bad for his partner, who by the way looks totally transformed into a sick person courtesy of the IV and gown and hospital bed, Danny leans over the bedside railing. “I promise, I’ll quit bugging you.” He runs his hand down Steve’s cheek “Is there anything I can get you, or do for you?”  
  
“You can get me out of here.”  
  
“Besides that?”  
  
“I guess we need to let Chin and Kono know what’s going on.”  
  
“You’re right. They’re going to want to come see you, you know?”  
  
“Tell them not to.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
The glare he gets answers that one pretty handily. “Ok, how about I go to that lounge down the hall where I can use my cell and give them a quick call?”  
  
“You can go home, you know.”  
  
“Like hell I can.”  
  
“What are you going to do? Sit and watch me lay here?”  
  
“No, I’m going to look out for you. You gotta have someone watching your back when you’re in the hospital, believe me. There’s all kinds of stories of people getting the wrong surgery, the wrong medication, the wrong test-trust me, these places can be real mine fields.”  
  
“Jesus, you worry enough for three people. I’ll be fine.”  
  
“Well I plan to sit quietly in that recliner and make sure of that.”  
  
“Just go home, Danny.”  
  
“No can do babe, I’m here for night.”  
  
“For the night?”  
  
“Yep. They’ll bring me a pillow and blanket. I did it when Gracie had her tonsils out. I’m an old pro at this.”  
  
“Go call Chin and Kono, Danny.”  
  
“Exactly what I was about to do. You behave now, okay? Remember, number one goes in that plastic thing.”  
  
“I am seriously going to hurt you.”  
  
Danny blows him a kiss as he slips out the door. 

_____~______

_Very late the next day-_

Okay, Danny’s done just about all the waiting he can.  
  
And pacing.  
  
And worrying.  
  
Can you blame him for feeling like he’s about to lose his mind? It’s been four hours since they took Steve down for surgery that was supposed to take an hour. Even if everything’s fine, which he prays to God it is, he’s spent the entire day and half of yesterday doing nothing but waiting. That’s more than even Steve could do without going a little squirrelly.  
  
Just as he decides he’s had it and lurches up out of the stinking recliner he’s sick and tired of sitting in, Steve’s nurse pops her head in the room and flashes one of her perky smiles at him, “Good news! He’s on his way up. Turns out he just had a few issues in the PACU but he’s fine now.”  
  
PACU?  
  
He doesn’t even know what that is and the ‘just a few issues’ line makes his stomach knot but if Steve’s on his way back to his room, things must be pretty close to okay. He jumps up, combs his fingers through his hair and takes a deep breath.  
  
Bring it on. He’s ready.  
  
“Now I’ve got to warn you,” Nurse Perky says, “don’t be concerned if he looks a little rocky-surgery and anesthesia are tough on everyone."  
  
“Don’t worry, I know what to expect.”

He’s not lying, he does. He’s seen his dad come back from gall bladder surgery and he’s seen plenty of buddies on the force go through even scarier surgeries. No one looks great when they come back from the operating room-he’s not stupid, he knows that.  
  
He just wants to see Steve.  
  
Now.  
________~_________  
  
“It’s just a hospital rule.” the bored looking man in scrubs says after asking him to step out in the hall before they roll the stretcher in. When Danny asks why he’s given him some kind of rigmarole about patients needing privacy when they’re transferred back into their beds.  
  
 _Look mister I’ve seen it all trust me._  
  
He thinks it to himself but keeps his mouth shut and does what he’s asked to. As he walks out into the hallway he winds up almost bumping into the stretcher where someone who looks vaguely like Steve is laying.  
  
 _Holy shit._ _How does someone's face go from tanned to grey in a few hours?_

Danny literally has to catch his breath. It’s like they’re returning a totally different person to him and he’s not happy with the switch. Not only does Steve look different; he’s also picked up way too many new attachments like oxygen tubing under his nose, and a clip on his index finger attached to a flashing monitor and worst of all,  urine-filled tubing that trails out from under his covers and down to a half filled pouch hanging on the side of the stretcher. It doesn’t take Danny’s keen detective skills to know where the other end of the tube goes. _Poor guy._  
  
The stretcher is wheeled past him while he’s still standing in the hallway with his mouth open. Thank God Steve's eyes are closed and he doesn't see him. He hopes like hell he's still out of it- the more he can sleep through this ordeal the better.  
  
Then the moron pushing the stretcher hits it against the doorjamb.  
  
Ok so Steve wasn’t asleep.

He couldn’t have been the way his eyes fly open so fast and he grimaces so uncomfortably. A half gasp half grunt noise slips out before he can bite his lower lip to stop it.  
  
“Careful!” Danny yells.  
  
“Sorry Mr. McGarrett, these darn doors are so narrow.”  
  
 _So if you know that, how about you take the time to avoid ramming into them, genius?_  
  
Danny stands in the doorway and watches –to hell with giving anyone privacy. It’s not anyone they’re talking about, it’s his partner and he’s watching out for him since they just proved they’re not worth crap at it.  
  
They angle the stretcher up beside the bed and lock the wheels, which is a good thing. But then they whisk the blanket off Steve like they’re stripping a bed to change the linen. Ignoring the shocked expression on his face, they tell him to fold his arms across his chest and then they’ll slide him over. He looks at the one making the request-confused as hell but then, slowly folds his arms. Oh, and by the way, his hospital gown is bunched up practically around his waist. _Do they not see that?_ Danny wants to scream, “Cover him the hell up.” but bites his tongue-again. Steve’s poor penis looks like it’s trying to crawl back into his body. Oblivious to the fact that everything that shouldn’t be is on display, four of them –two on each side of the bed, grab the sheet Steve’s laying on, count 1,2,3 and then heave him over onto the bed. It’s not smooth and it’s not gentle and this time Steve can’t help crying out.  
  
“Sorry”, his nurse says and then when she glances down, adds “Opps”.  
  
 _Opps?_ Danny feels like throttling someone. For sure he hurts like hell the way he’s grimacing and staring down at himself. Meanwhile no one’s doing a thing to cover the guy up. Danny’s a millisecond from barging in and doing it himself when one of them finally pulls a sheet up over him.  
  
They take their time switching the IV bag over to a stand next to the bed and hooking the oxygen to a valve on the wall. It’s all Danny can do to wait for them to finally roll the damn stretcher out past him. They smile at him like they just did him an extra special favor; he wants to bean all  of them. The nurse is still next to the bed but as far as Danny’s concerned, waiting time is officially over. He’s across the room in two strides, making sure to switch his expression to a happyone on the way over.  
  
“Hey babe, you okay?”  
  
“I’m …g…ood.”  
  
 _Not_. As in not even a good liar.  
  
“You hurting?”  
  
“A…little.”  
  
“I’ll get you some pain med as soon as I take your vital signs. What’s your pain level on a scale of one to ten?”  
  
More confusion lines Steve’s forehead. His eyebrows knit. Finally he grunts, “Five.”  
  
“Well if it’s a five I can only give you oral medication and that takes about 30 minutes to kick in.”  
  
“It’s ten, then. He’s a notorious liar when it comes to answering any questions about pain and suffering, trust me,” Danny says.  
  
The nurse chuckles as she wraps a cuff around Steve’s arm and pushes a button to make it inflate, “I thought he looked like it was higher- most men are really hurting when they first get back after this surgery.”  
  
“So how about he gets the pain med right away and you do that later?”  
  
“Oh no, can’t do that- rules are rules. I’ve got to be sure he’s stable as soon as arrives on the floor.”  
  
“Well he’s not stable- he’s in pain.”  
  
“Danny…stop….it’s fine.”  
  
Of course it’s not fine, the doofus is grimacing and squirming and looking all kinds of uncomfortable. If Danny can’t get the damn nurse to change her game plan he’s going to have to try to distract Steve until the morphine shows up. He runs his hand across his forehead, “So at least it’s all over, huh babe.”  
  
“Ye…ah.”  
  
“Don’t worry-as soon as she slips the good stuff in your IV you’ll be higher than Toast.”  
  
Steve tries to smile. He just can’t quite pull it off.  
  
“Okay let me slip this under your tongue," the nurse says,"and then I’ll be done.”  
  
Steve eyes the probe in her hand like he really doesn't want it in his mouth but does as he’s told, closing his lips around the plastic sheath and biting down pretty hard based on the tremor running down his jaw.  
  
“Hang in there buddy- just a few minutes until la la land.”  
  
That gets no response at all. Steve’s eyes are closed and he’s obviously trying to breath his way around a boatload of pain. Finally his forehead relaxes and stays that way until the thermometer beeps. Danny’s amazed at the way he can slip off into his own little world when he’s hurting and thanks God for giving him the skill set.  
  
“Hmm…you’re running a little temp, I’ll let your doctor know but it’s probably nothing.”  
  
“Why would he be running a temperature?”  
  
“Some people just do after surgery.”  
  
“He couldn’t have an infection this early could he?”  
  
“You never know, don’t worry. We’ll take care of it if he does. Now is there anything else I can get you when I bring your pain med, Mr. McGarrett?”  
  
“No... thank you.”  
  
 _Just go as in now!_   Danny has to force himself not to say it out loud.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished whumping poor Steve  
> Great big hug and thanks to lyndalanz, again,for all her help checking this over  
> (except for the last bit where any and all mistakes are MINE!)  
> MWAH lynda !

A burning, throbbing sensation tries to pull Steve awake but he fights it.

“Hey, babe."

Danny’s voice, full of concern and so close to his ear forces him to resurface. He looks around but doesn’t remember this room. The last thing he remembers is waking up in a bright place with a machine beeping beside him and oxygen tubing tickling his nose.

At least the tubing is gone.

“Well look who’s awake. Welcome back.”

_Danny_

His hand on his forehead feels pretty damn good. Seeing him standing there, shirt and tie and hair and all, feels even better.

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

Danny gives him one of his _my ass_ looks but doesn't press it. “So they gave you some pretty strong stuff when they rolled you up here and  you’ve been out ever since.”

"Wha' time is it?"

"Eleven am to be exact."

“And the oper…ation?” he asks, surprised by how how hard it is to get each sylabble out.

“It went great. Your doc says he tucked everything back in where it's supposed to be and then put a little piece of mesh in there to make sure it stays put.”

_Mesh? Inside me?_

He closes his eyes, trying to clear his head.

_No luck._

Still fuzzy headed, he plants his heels into the mattress and scoots back. _Bad idea._ The burning sensation down low in his belly literally takes his breath away.

"Whoa there, take it easy," Danny says. "That didn't look like it felt too good?"

"I'm just a... little sore,"

"And I'm just a _little_ Jersey. You need some pain med? You want me to get your nurse?"

"No. I'm okay. When do you think... I can… get out of here?”

“Nice re-direct. The answer is I'm not sure. I guess your doc’s gotta make that call."

“First things first, we have to figure out why you have a fever."

_Who the hell said that?_

Steve glares over Danny's shoulder at the nurse who's suddenly materialized behind him. Neither of them heard her come in; both of them instantly wish she hadn't.

“It’s just a rule,” she says shrugging her shoulders. “You can’t be discharged with a fever.”

“I don’t feel... like I have a fever.”

“Well you do. One hundred point one, to be exact. It's not too high-it could just be a reaction to the surgery but it could be an infection. We’ll send blood and urine specimens to the lab they’ll let us know soon enough.”

Steve looks miserable.

“Come on babe, relax,” Danny tells him. “You just had surgery. Let the nice people here take care of you and make sure you got nothing nasty going on and then I’ll take you home. Okay?”

“But I hate this."

“I get that and I can’t say I blame you. Let's give it a little more time okay”

“Fine,” he says but his frown deepens. “Danny,” he hisses under his breath, “ I really got to pee.”

“That’s just what I was going to ask you about,” the nurse, whose hearing is apparently very good, says from the other side of his bed where she's tappping the screen on his IV pump. She finishes with the pump and reaches for something from the bedside table. “Do you think you’re up to using one of these?”

He rears back when he sees the plastic container in her hand, looking embarrassed and disgusted at the same time.

“Do you?” she asks again.

“Ye...ah sure… if you give me some... privacy.”

That gets a little huff and an “Of course,” from her. She hands the urinal to him. “Just press your call button when you’re through and ask for your tech so she can send a specimen to the lab. Oh and before I go, do you need some more pain medication?”

“No.”

“Yes he does. “

"Come on, Danny, I don't".

“Listen to me, Steve-you gotta stay a head of the pain. You let it get ahead of you it’s no fun.”

“Your friend is absolutely right."

“I’m okay,” Steve hisses, refusing to look up.

“Suit yourself;  just press the call bell if you change your mind

“Florence Nightingale she ain’t,” Danny says when the door closes behind her. “Here let me help you with that.”

He hands the container to Danny like it's radioactive.

As soon as Danny lifts Steve's gown his eyes go wide. “Holy shit-what the hell did they do to you!”

Steve looks down and gasps. “Is that… normal?”

“I don’t know. I mean your doc said there might me some bruising and maybe some swelling but that-I mean, that looks horrible. Are you hurting down there?”

“Some.”

" _Some?_   I swear to God you're certifiable when it comes to pain. How about you tell the truth just this once- do those black and blue balls of yours hurt?"

Steve says nothing.

Shaking his head, Danny gives up. “So do you really think you can use this thing?”

“I think so; just help me, okay?”

“Yeah sure, although, I got to say this is not the way I would choose to mess around with your junk, if I had a choice that is."

"Would you cut the commentary and just get it over with."

"OKay, okay. So we'll put this here," Danny says, angling the container between Steve's legs, "and tuck you in like this and viola-you’re all set-pee away.”

Steve lets his head drop back against the bed and closes his eyes. He knows Danny is watching him but blocks out the fact. He takes a careful breath and forces his shoulders to relax. As the lines across his forehead soften he wills his body to do what it has to do.

_So why isn't it?_

He takes another, slightly deeper breath and bears down just a little which sets off a shooting pain but does nothing to help him do what he needs to do.

_What the hell?_

“I really got to go Danny,” he says, wincing. “But I can’t.”

“I hear you, babe-don't worry. We’ll just call your nurse and see if there’s maybe some medicine or something they can give you.”

Danny’s already pressing the call button. Steve braces for what’s coming next.

“What do you need, Mr. McGarrett?"

“I can’t go,” he says evenly. “I feel like I need to but I can’t.”

She gives him a surprisingly sympathetic look that makes him feel a little less mad at the world. Then she explains that it’s not unusual after the kind of surgery he just had-that the bladder often gets traumatized during the operation. He listens to her with his eyes closed and one arm draped over them, pretty much announcing that he wishes he was a million miles away.

“Okay,” Danny asks, “what do you do to _help_ your patients when this happens?”

_Thank you, Danny._

“Well we place a catheter and then after a while we take it out and check to see if normal function has returned. Usually it does but every now and again, it doesn’t and a patient will have to go home with a catheter and a leg bag. “

“I’m not doing that,” he growls, eyes still closed.

“What the going home with the leg bag part?” Danny asks.

“No the whole thing-I’m not doing any of it. Just leave me alone and I’ll… try again in a few minutes.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. Your doctor left orders for you to have a bladder scan- basically an ultrasound of your bladder that I can do right here in your room. If your bladder has over a certain amount of fluid in it, the rule is I have to cath you.”

“Oh come on!” Danny looks like he wants to throttle the woman. “Just leave him alone for a few minutes for God’s sake. How about we focus on the patient for a change and forget the damn rules?”

“Well I do have to go hunt down a scanner,” she answers sounding a little less hell bent on torturing Steve. “Sometimes it takes a while to find one.” She lays a hand on Steve's shoulder, “I’m really not the enemy you know-I’m only following rules.”

He doesn't say anything. He knows all about rules-knows there are good ones and bad ones and that smart people know the difference.

“Before I go, are you sure you don't want any pain medicine? The surgery you had is painful, there's no way around it. And pain causes you to tense up which only makes it more difficult for you to do what you need to do.”

While he weighs his options she gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze. He’s confused. He wants to say no but he feels like hell and what she’s saying makes sense. He remembers a SEAL team medic jamming a syringe of morphine into his thigh after their chopper crashed. _Talk about sweet relief._

“Come on Steve-don’t fight it,” Danny says.

“Okay, fine." he agrees. _At least maybe it will let him sleep through some of this._

 ___~______

His nurse was right – the medicine she shoots into his IV really works. Literally within minutes the aching and burning in his groin lets up. He had no idea how tensed he had been until he feels himself relax and sink down into the bed.

“Look at you," Danny says. Steve can almost hear him smiling. “So this is much better, right?”

“Ye...ah,” he answers, surprised at how cottony his mouth feels. “You know wha' Danny?”

“What?”

“I feel good'nuff to go home. Really, I do.”

“Would you zip it, you knucklehead? You only feel good because you just got a whopping dose of morphine-something I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to give you at home.”

“I’m jus' saying I feel good. And you know what else?"

"I'm afraid to ask. What?"

"You _look_ good."

"Oh I do? Well thank you very much." Danny comes over to the bed and leans in over Steve. “I'm really glad you're feeling better because you know what?”

“Wha'?”

“It kills me to see you hurting. I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat if I could.”

“Aww, thanks D.”

“You’re very welcome. Hey did I ever tell you how hot you look in that hospital gown?”

“I look… hot?”

“Yes you do. Don’t let it go to your head though.”

“Aye aye,” he says and gives Danny a loopy little salute. Then his eyes start to drift closed; he can’t help but doze off. He floats in a pleasant stupor unitl his nurse wakes him a little later. Blinking and confused he tries to focus on the device she just wheeled up to the bedside. “Wha's that?”

“This is the scanner I told you about,” she says reaching over to pull back his covers. “Don’t worry, it’s painless. We’ll just roll your gown up like this..., and cover you up like this and then we'll get a quick look at things.”

_Hey!_

She’s got his stomach bared and his sheet folded back and she’s spreading cold gel on his belly. He's not liking it one bit but at least she’s doing it quickly and  trying to keep most of him covered. He feels her press something against him, down low and it  makes him feel like he's going to pee. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“Oh, my,” the nurse says, “Oh my, what?” Danny asks.

"Well,” she says, frowning at a strip of paper the scanner just printed. “You definitely need to go.”

“I already told you that."

She gives Steve a tolerant smile and starts to clean the gel off of him. “So here’s the deal," she says. “I’ll give you a few minutes so you can try to go-maybe with the pain med on board you’ll have more luck. Then I’ll come back and check on you and if you still can’t go, I’ll-“

“We know, we know," Danny interrupts. "You’ll do that thing we don’t want to talk about."

She gives Danny an apologetic shrug as she wheels the scanner toward the door. “Good luck,” she says before she goes out into the hallway.

______~______

“So pal you ready for round two?” Danny asks.

“Sure…let’s do it.”

Danny repeats the same drill as before, pulling Steve’s gown up and very gently positioning the plastic container between his legs. “I’m not hurting you am I,” he asks worriedly.

“Nah, I like it when you play with my pecker.”

“First, I am not playing and second, _your pecker_?

“Yeah. Have'n you ever heard it called tha' before?"

"Not since the third grade. So let's get your _pecker_ in position-there. Okay buddy go ahead, let her rip.”

Steve closes his eyes and takes a slow deep breath.

Nothing happens.

They both wait.  Neither of them speaks.

Still nothing.

Finally Steve looks down and shakes his head. “I think know wha’s wrong,” he says.

“Besides the fact you can’t pee?”

“No. I know _why_ I can’t pee. It's 'cause I'm lying down."

“So what do you want to do?

“I wanna' stand up.”

“Oh no. I’m not doing that. You just had surgery and you’re high as a kite. No way

“Danny com'on, please. No way do I want that nurse stickin a tube in me.”

Danny winces at the thought; no wasy does he want that happening either. “You really think you’re okay to stand up?”

“Sure. Com'on, help me before she gets back. “

Frowning and shaking his head and knowing this is really not a good idea, Danny carefully removes the container from between Steve’s legs. “I’ll tell you one thing, he warns, “You so much as sway and it's back in bed for you. You hear me?”

Steve doesn’t answer; he's already a man on a mission. He’s grabbed hold of the side-railing and is pulling on it as he angles his legs toward the edge of the bed. Based on his grunts and grimaces it hurts.

“Okay babe just take a second to get your bearings,” Danny says when Steve's finally sitting hunched over on the edge of the bed. "I'm gonna lower this thing so your feet touch the floor." After he does it he positions himself so he's directly in front of Steve, "You doing okay?"

Steve looks up and gives him a nod.

"So here's how we're going to do this-you reach up and put your arms around my neck and pull yourself up. Use your legs to press up off the floor. The secret is to isolate your abs and use them as little as possible.”

Steve stares at him, confused, “And you know this how?”

“My Dad had his gall bladder out-I remember the nurse explaining it to him- I remember he hurt like hell the first time he got out of bed.”

“Okay. I'm ready.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. This damn gown of yours, while it is very attractive, is only going to get in the way. How about we lose it.”

It’s not a question.

Danny’s already reaching around and untying the ties and the next thing Steve knows he’s sitting on the edge of the bed stark naked except for a large bandage down low on his belly and a smaller transperent one over his IV,  “Whoa, you don’t mess around do you?” he says.

“We don’t have time to mess around. Now come on. Put your arms around my neck.”

Steve takes a deep breath and reaches up toward Danny.

Once he feels Steve's hands lock behind his head, Danny gently puts his hands around his waist. “Okay, I got you. On the count of three," he says. "One, two, three.”

With a loud grunt Steve starts to stand. He's only halfway up when he lets go of Danny and bends over grabbing his knees and hissing “Holy fuck!"

“What? What is it? You need to lay back down?”

“No... jus' give me… a sec.”

Danny's frantic. Steve looks like he's in all kind of pain and he wants like crazy to get him back in bed but he knows he'll fight him. Just when he's ready to force him, Steve looks up and says, “Okay, I’m good.”

“You’re _good_? Sweet Jesus we know that’s a crock. You really want to try this?

“Ye-ah… just hurry.”

Quick as he can, Danny grabs the urinal off the bed and angles it between Steve’s legs. It’s not easy with Steve hunched over the way he is but somehow he finds his target and slides the container into place. “Okay, buddy, you’re good to go.” 

Steve shoots him a withering frown for the horrible play on words that he in no way intended to make. “Come on-just go,” he tells him smoothing a hand over his bare back. He can’t see Steve’s face, which is probably a good thing because it’s gone chalk white. The good news is that Steve was right-standing up, even if it's only halfway, makes all the difference. In no time they both hear the welcome sound of the urinal being filled. When the sound stops Danny asks, “You done?”

"Ye...ah."

“Okay, let’s get you back in bed then.”

 Suddenly Steve sways.

“Whoa, what’s up, you okay?”

 “I don’ feel so go-“ Steve says. His eyes roll back in his head before he finishes saying _good_.

“Oh no! Oh fuck no you don’t!"

Too late

Danny grabs him but he's dead weight. There’s nothing he can do except push him back on the bed. Steve lands with a thud. His legs are dangling over the side of the bed while the rest of him is draped sideways across it. It’s not a great position for anyone with a fresh incision across their abdomen. In seconds a circle of red appears on his bandage

“Help!”  Danny screams, pressing the call button and yelling as loud as he can. He grabs Steve's legs and somehow gets him up on the bed but not soon enough. The red circle is getting bigger; a trickle of blood starts to ooze out from under the bandage.

_That’s it._

Danny runs over to the door and screams “Help!” at the top of his lungs.

_Okay that works._

Instantly Steve’s room is packed with more people in scrubs than Danny can count. Steve's nurse is one of the first ones in and when she sees him stretched out naked and unconscious on the bed her eyes go wide. “What happened?” she asks.

“He wanted to stand up so he could go,” Danny answers, “which he did but then he passed out and I…I couldn’t hold on to him so I pushed him down on the bed but then he I guess he started bleeding-“

“Okay, let us take care of him," she says, gently pushing past him and grabbing oxygen tubing from the wall behind Steve's bed. "Open up his IV." she tells the nurse on the other side of the bed. "I'm pretty sure he just tensed up and passed out. Someone page his doc."

Danny can’t scramble out the way fast enough. He backs up against the wall across from Steve and could just kick himself for letting the guy talk him into this.

Steve's doctor rushes in minutes later, takes one look at his bloody bandage and as he grabs a pair of exam gloves from the wall dispenser, asks, "What the hell happened?"

The nurse tells him and then rattles off Steve's vital signs. His pulse is fast; his pressure is low. The good news, though, is that he's starting to come around. 

"Wha...." he murmurs blearily.

 _Thank God,_ Danny says to himself.

"Just lie still and relax Mr. McGarrett,” his doctor tells him. “It looks like we need to do a little repair work here.” Then, turning to Steve's nurse, "Get me a suture kit please and page my resident" Then looking to the rest of the crowd in the room, "Come on people, someone cover him up.”

_Danny could kiss the guy._

____~______

_Forty-five minutes later..._

“So he’s really okay?”

 “Yes,” Steve’s doctor tells Danny. “We gave him some pretty strong pain medicine that will keep his out for a while but he’s okay. We had to re-suture his incision in several places but it looks good now. If he doesn’t take any more flying lunges it should hold just fine.”

“Oh don’t worry there are no more flying lunges in his future. Trust me.”

“Good to hear,” the doctor chuckles.

“So let me ask you this,” Danny says. “Let’s say there are no more, uh, complications. Best case scenario, when can I take him home?”

“I’d say, day after tomorrow- maybe tomorrow night if he does really well.”

“And what would doing really well involve?”

“Well, in addition to no more bleeding or fevers, he'll need to be able to tolerate fluids and pee and ambulate. Your friend does all that and he’s good to go.” I'll be back first thing in the morning to check on him; I want him on strict bedrest until then, okay?"

Danny says "Okay," while he stares at the fluid-filled tubing snaking out from under Steve's covers, "At least he's going to need to get up to pee any more."

"That's exactly right. We'll leave that catheter in place overnight and once we're sure he can stand with no light-headedness we'll remove it."

"Okay doc, thanks."

_Oh man, Steve's not going to like this one bit.  
_

_________~_________  
_

_Then next day-9am_

They keep Steve snowed under with pain meds so that he gets a good night’s sleep and doesn't cause any more trouble which means Danny gets some sleep too. It’s on the recliner next to Steve’s bed so it’s not the best rest he’s ever had but he’s not complaining. He’s been awake since 8:00- he’s even managed to wash his face and comb his hair by the time Steve starts to stir. Okay, here we go, he thinks to himself as soon as he sees those ridiculously long eye lashes flutter. After he takes a deep breath he leans in and says, Hey, you.” Running his fingers over Steve’s forehead. “Did you sleep good.”

“Ye…ah,” Steve answers, sounding not at all sure.

Danny can’t help but smile. Steve’s hair might be sticking up in every direction and the scruff on his cheeks is thick but he  still looks like a million dollars.

_God he loves him._

“What … time is it?”

“It is nine o’clock.”

Steve frowns.

“So do you remember what happened?”

“I remember peeing ... did I… pass out?”

“You most certainly did. _And_ you managed to rip open a few sutures in the process. Good news- all the damage has been repaired.”

“Oh shit. Does that mean they're gonna try to make me to stay here longer?”

“Just a little bit.”

Steve frowns and looks even more uncomfortable.

“Are you hurting, babe?”

“Not really. Something just feels weird, you know, down there.”

“Your incision?”

“No my peck-I mean my dick. It feels like something’s tugging on it.”

“Oh yeah, about that. So since you can’t pee lying down and you passed out when you stood up they, uh…, they had to do what you didn’t want them to.” Danny watches Steve’s expression darken and talks faster. “But at least you were totally out of it when they did it which is a plus in my book. And even better, they’re taking it out sometime today so you can try doing your business the normal way way.”

“Oh man. Really?”

_Could a guy look any more miserable?_

“’Fraid so.”

“Great. So how long … do they want me to stay here?”

“Until tomorrow, just one more day.”

Steve closes his eyes and sighs

“Come on, it’s not the end of the world. Anyway, you scared the hell out of me yesterday-you owe it to me to lay in that bed and be a good boy today.”

“I scared you?”

“You sure as hell did. I haven’t looked yet but I'm pretty sure I’m the proud owner of a lot more grey hair than I had a day ago.”

Before Steve can answer a familiar voice on the other side of the door startles both of them. “Knock knock. Room service.” The door opens.“Good morning gentlemen,” Kamekona says crossing the room surprisingly quickly. “I heard about your operation and brought you some very powerful healing foods, Steve,” the big man winces."So sorry, brudda."

“Don’t worry, Kamekona, I’m fine,” Steve tells him.

“Well you look a little peaked to me-maybe one of my shrimp breakfast burritos will put some color back in your cheeks.”

Danny almost swats the foil packet out of Kame’s hand, “Absolutely not! Are you kidding? The guy hasn’t even had anything to eat in two days. You give him solid food-especially food as solid as that and he’ll be clutching one of those barf basins in no time.”

Seeing such a big man suddenly look so dejected is hard to take. “It’s okay,” Steve tells Kamekona. “I really appreciate you coming down here. Maybe you can hold on to that and give it to me when I get out of here?”

“Or maybe,” Kamekona says as he unwraps the burrito, “I can eat it and make you another one  when you get out.” He takes a big bite, pretty much announcing that, yeah, that’s the plan.

“You do that, Kamekona,” Danny says, “but not in here. Much as Steve loves your cooking I don’t think the aroma of shrimp is particularly appealing to him right now.” He looks over at Steve for verification. His partner’s slightly greenish pallor is all he needs. “Let’s go, out of here, now. Thanks so much for stopping by. Hopefully I bring this big lug home tomorrow and you can come see him at his place. “

Kamekona continues to eat the burrito as he gathers up his things. “Shoots Steve, hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks big guy, thanks a lot.”

They both watch him angle himself out of the room and then as soon as the door closes behind him, Danny asks, "You okay, babe

“Yeah,” Steve answers not very convincingly. "My stomach's just a little off."

“No surprise. You need to get something in it but you need to start out slow- maybe with some tea or Jello.”

Steve groans, “That sounds disgusting-no thanks.”

“But that my good man is not an option. After you’ve had surgery you gotta prove your stomach is copacetic- I remember after Rachel had her appendix out I couldn’t take her home until she, as her nurse delicately referred to it, _passed gas_.”

Steve rears back. “Are you kidding?”

“I kid you not. Until my prim and proper wife _passed gas_ they wouldn’t let her go home. She wound up fibbing-told them she had when she hadn't- just so she could get out of the place. Something I'm sure you'd endorse."

“I swear, if I never see the inside of a hospital again it will be just fine by me.”

“I hear you.”

Just then a lanky young man in scrubs and pucca beads ambles into the room, "How's it fellas? I got your breakfast tray, Mr. McGarrett."

While Steve frowns at him Danny asks. “So what did you cook up for my friend?”

“I’m afraid nothing too exciting, Jello, tea, italian ice and the chef's famous chicken broth.”

“Thanks but no thanks, “ Steve says glumly.

“Don't mind him. Just leave it on his  tray table,” Danny tells the guy. "He’ll eat it later."  
____~_____

_Four hours later..._

Not a drop of anything on his tray has crossed Steve’s lips.

“Okay fine,” Danny says, “go ahead, don’t eat any of this. Buy yourself another day in this place.”

“Danny. Stop. I don’t want to stay here a second longer than I have to but I really don’t like any of this stuff.”

“Not even the Jello?”

“Not even the Jello.”

“Who doesn’t like Jello?”

“Danny, please. Give it a rest.”

“Ok , but you have to eat or drink something and  prove you can keep it down before they’ll let you out of here. What do you want me to get you? I’ll get you anything. “

Steve closes his eyes and concentrates.

The light blue dotted hospital gown they have him in and the stark white sheets behind him make him look so damn gorgeous. It takes all Danny has to stay on task.

“Okay, “ Steve finally answers, “Ginger ale and saltines. I can do ginger ale and saltines.”

“Great! Fantastic! I’ll go find your nurse-I’m sure they got stuff like that somewhere around here somewhere.”

“Oh and Danny, any chance you could ask her if I could get a little pain medicine?”

Right away Danny’s face darkens, “You hurting again, babe? Is it bad?”

“No, I mean yeah, but it’s not bad. I just want to stay ahead of it –you know- so that when they let me get out bed and try to you-know-what I don’t embarrass myself again.”

The smile on Danny’s face couldn’t be wider. “Now you’re starting to get with the program! Sit tight, I’ll be right back.

________~________

_Four pm the next day…._

Steve is sitting cautiously on the edge of the recliner in his loosest pair of sweats and favorite SEALs t shirt. There's a bandage on his hand where his IV was just pulled  and a hospital bracelet around his wrist, both of  which seem to clash with his street clothes. On the other hand, they go along quite well with the dark circles under his eyes and his pale complexion

“So you ready to get out of here boss?”

“You have no idea, Kono,” he answers but he’s not looking all that excited. In fact he’s looking a little anxious.

For good reason.

The obstacle course at BUD-s was nothing compared to what he’s been through in the last forty-eight hours. He's been forced to prove he can eat and get out bed and pee and worse. He’s scared to death they’re going to throw another gauntlet down in front of him before they’ll let him out. Worriedly, like a con about to be paroled, he glances toward the door. Then he remembers something and looks down at his bare feet. "Danny, did you bring my flip flops?"

"Yeah hold on, here you go. You proabably don't need them, though."

"I'm not taking any chances. I don't want that nurse putting those socks on me again."

"Socks?" Kono asks.

"Shh. Sensitive subject," Danny warns her. "I'll tell you later."

"What's taking so long?"

“Relax, Steve. Your ride will be in a jiffy.”

Steve frowns. His ride. Normally he’d insist he didn’t need a wheel chair-that he could walk but not today. He's not taking one more embarrassing ‘walk’ in this place. The last one had been an hour ago and he'd had to do it to prove to his nurse that he could. Hunched over and holding onto Danny, he shuffled across the room and a few feet down the hallway before she finally told him that was far enough. As if having to walk around in public like a ninety year old man wasn’t bad enough, she’d insisted on putting idiotic, fluffy blue socks on him before she would let him out of bed. And to top it off, even though Danny had insisted his gown was tied in the back he’d felt way too much cool air wafting across his bare backside to believe it.

“What’s that?”

Kono’s voice pulls him out of his unpleasant reverie. He looks down at the white pillow with a big smiley face drawn on it in his lap. “It’s just a pillow.”

“Funny looking pillow.”

“It’s to brace himself with," Danny explains, "you know, if he coughs or, laughs or has to sneeze.”

Steve glares at him like he'd revealed a national secret.

“Come on babe, lighten up. You sure you don't want some pain medicine? You're lot  a more fun when you take it."

“No way!  I don't want any more of that stuff. You saw what it did to me."

"Yeah, now that you remind me, it did kind of mess with your system."

"What are you talking about?" Kono asks.

'Were talking about the fact that our friend here got a little backed up and required a little... uh, intervention."

"Danny! That's enough."

Too late. Kono is already biting her lip and vibrating with laughter.

"Should'nt you be doing something useful, Danny? Like maybe go find out what’s taking so long?”

“Whoa, relax Mr. Grumpy. Look, here’s your chariot now.”

All of them look over to the door where a smiling grey-haired man with a wheel chair is standing. “Afternoon folks," he says scanning the room. Immediately he picks out his patient and starts toward Steve. "How are you doing young fella? You ready to go?”

Jaw clenched, Steve nods that he is.

“You need help getting up?”

“No.”

“You sure buddy?”

“I said no, Danny,” Steve hisses, pressing down on the armrest of the recliner with one hand while he presses the smiley face pillow against his belly with the other. Slowly, very slowly he stands, straightening up only half way.

“Remember what your nurse said, Steve. Eyes up.”

He does it, but by tilting his head, not by straightening up any more. Slowly he shuffles over to the wheelchair and then very gingerly lowers himself. No one misses his pained grunt when he finally settles in the chair.

“You okay?”

“I’m good, D. Let’s just go.”

“You got it,” Danny says and then to the transporter, “Lead the way.”

“Well hello there Commander McGarrett!”

In the hallway, smiling at Steve like their best friends is Eleanor Hughes-the devilish doctor who put him through all this misery.

The look on Steve's face is priceless.

“I was just stopped by to see how you were doing. I hear you’ve had quite a time?”

He just stares at her gripping the armrest of the wheel chair so tightly his knuckles whiten.

“How are you feeling?” she asks frowning. “You look awfully pale. Are you sure you’re ready to go home?”

“Oh he’s ready all right," Danny assures her. "He’s just a little uh, tired. But once we get him home and in his own bed he’ll be just fine.”

Still frowning Hughes looks unconvinced but since, thank God, she’s not on staff, there’s nothing she can do but step aside when Danny nods for the transporter to move on. “Oh, just one thing,” she calls out hurrying after them. “I need to see you and clear you before you can go back to work. You’ll be on limited duty at first, and then I’ll see you again to clear you for full duty. Just call my office and make an appointment, okay?”

It seriously looks like Steve wants to jump out of the wheel chair and wring her neck.

“Yes mam, he will, don’t worry,” Danny answers for him, biting his lip not to laugh. It’s not that he likes to see Steve suffer like this. No way. It’s just that sitting in that wheelchair, clutching that happy face pillow and gripping the armrest for all he’s worth, the guy is too damn adorable for words. He can’t wait to get him home and give him TLC around the clock.  And then, as soon as he's better, TLC is going to take on a whole new meaning.

fin


End file.
